


It's Beginning to Get to Me

by Saklani



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:55:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28977009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saklani/pseuds/Saklani
Summary: Hux's broken body is found among the ruins of the Steadfast and treated by the renewed New Republic.  As he comes to terms with the new reality of the galaxy, Hux also finds himself the personal recipient of the attentions of the highest General in the new military- Poe Dameron.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Armitage Hux
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26
Collections: Hoelidays Gift Exchange 2021





	It's Beginning to Get to Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Viraaja](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viraaja/gifts).



The remains of the Final Order’s capital ship, Steadfast, rested on the crumbling foundations of the last resting place of the Sith Lords – their great temple to themselves ground into rubble by the wreckage of ship after ship of the Final Order crashing into the stone walls. Most of the wrecks were unsalvageable, the explosions from their main cannons rendering them into bits and pieces, but the Steadfast’s superior design made her more resilient. She broke into three large pieces, each of them in decent enough condition for salvage (and possibly survivors). 

After a single day to celebrate their win, catalog their remaining personnel and recuperate from heavy losses in battle, General Poe Dameron, now head of the Resistance, led the rescue and salvage operation, determined not to act as the First Order would and leave the wounded to perish in the inhospitable climate of Exegol. He invited some of their new friends, delighted when many of the ships willing to follow hero General Lando Calrissian into battle were also ready to follow the new General Poe Dameron to the less heroic task of clean-up. 

But from this, peace might begin, so he led a fleet of 25 ships of all sorts and organized their crews (with the able assistance of Kaydel) to the task of searching the remains for survivors and salvaging what was left of the many fallen ships. To Rey and Finn he left the task of combing what little remained of the Sith temple to make sure all the evil that remained might be properly disposed of. Besides, he saw the meaningful glances between them, though Rey still hurt from the loss of Kylo Ren on top of Leia. This was also a chance to heal the wounds between them and begin to forge a new relationship. 

Poe assigned three teams of six to comb through the remains of the Steadfast, following an ever decreasing number of life signs, and led by droids willing (and eager) to freely pledge loyalty to a cause led by a man who treated them as equals. Among droids (inspired by tales from heroes BB8, C-3PO and D-O), friend!Poe and friend!Rey were the best of all non-synthetics, and they were the pleased to assist in any way they could.

Medical droid VH-N scanned through the remains of the main holding cells of the ship, registering the dead in its memory banks to report later, primary directive on detecting life signs, which were lessening in number with every passing day. Still, as its scanner picked up a flicker, the search was not in vain.

Sending a signal to the nearest medical assistance team, VH-N used its modified arm to laser through a still-sealed door and entered a small, barren chamber whose enhanced walls had kept it intact. Not that it had kept the occupant from being tossed into said walls during the explosions, breaking apart and accelerated fall of the ship into Exegol’s surface. Rolling to the prone, but still alive, form lying in a heap in the back corner, VH-N began cataloging numerous serious injuries and sent a further signal to note that this new patient required immediate transport to the medical frigate, the Not Alone (lent by one of the worlds grateful for the destruction of the now-forever-former Emperor Palpatine).

“I hate this kriffing place,” one of the medical technicians was saying as she and her crew came into hearing range of the droid. “It’s a graveyard on top of the biggest tombstone ever erected.” 

“And what is going to happen to all of these stormtroopers and First Order officers anyway?” another voice, this one male, asked. “Does this General Dameron really think they can be rehabilitated?”

“We’re medics,” a stern female voice interrupted them both to say, as they neared the door. “We all swore oaths to protect life, in all forms, and this is not the time to be complaining about doing just that. And by the readings I’m seeing here, this man needs our help. So shut it and do your jobs.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” three voices said in chorus, two sounding chastened and the third amused. 

VH-N did not cease work, but did move to allow access to the medical crew when they approached. “Male. Human. Broken spine. Compound fracture, left leg. Compound fracture, left arm. Internal bleeding, multiple sites. Blaster wound, left leg, cauterized, but untreated. Possible concussion. Additional untreated injuries. Assessment-critical condition. Immediate transport required to medical frigate.”

“Understood,” the lead medic said and gestured her team into swift action. She commed one of the smaller medical transport vehicles, reported their patient’s need for a quick vac to the Not Alone and gave an ETA. She signed off and joined the rest of the team in stabilizing the patient as best as possible and getting him secured on the gurney.

“Patient identified,” VH-N reported. “Hux, Armitage. Former General of the First Order. Recently demoted and imprisoned due to spying for the Resistance. Execution was scheduled, but not carried out due to battle of Exegol.”

“Knew this guy is familiar,” the male medic said. “General Hux. The Starkiller. I bet General Dameron will be interested to know about him.”

“Hush, and keep moving,” the lead said firmly.

They hustled the floating gurney toward the vac coordinate, even as VH-N returned to searching for survivors. By now, the group knew their way through the dark, ruined hallways of flickering lights and long echoes and escorting the former General to the hangar bay was a matter of minutes.

They transferred him to the care of the transport’s medical team smoothly and headed back into the cavernous wreck. The transport team carted the unconscious man inside and began hooking him up to some of the more permanent medical care, even as the pilot headed out into space and on the short trip to the Not Alone. 

Communication between the shuttle and the main surgical team on the medical transport flowed, with Hux’s vitals and injuries transmitted and linked to the main computer. By the time they landed in the main hangar bay, a pair of transport droids and one of the surgical team waited for them. They efficiently moved Hux from the shuttle to the main operating bay, where the Head Surgeon was already present with her team, suited up and ready for the difficult surgery ahead. She was issuing orders in a calm, level tone before Hux even made it on the table. Over the course of a three-hour surgery, they made all the preliminary fixes to Hux’s wounds, preparing him for a week-long bacta bath that would be the first major step in his recovery.  
~~~~~~~

When Armitage Hux finally opened his eyes again, he found himself staring up at the waves of the stormy green seas of Arkanis. He blinked a few times, trying to process the image and the soft sounds that accompanied it.

“Stimulation is good for the brain, even when it’s in a coma,” a calm, familiar voice said from nearby, “and a calming scene helps patients not panic when they finally do wake. The medical droid selected the seas of Arkanis, seeing as that’s your home planet.”  
Hux slowly rotated his head in the direction of the voice and found himself gazing at the handsome form of Poe Dameron. A very different Poe Dameron than the one he saw last, dressed in the ragged clothes of the Resistance. This Poe Dameron wore a striking uniform. Black pants and boots, paired with a black long-sleeved shirt mostly covered by a white coat with a long open strip in the front, trimmed with a green sash from the waist to the shoulder. On the right side was the symbol of the Resistance and on the left the symbol of the Republic. A general’s stripes decorated each shoulder in gold trim. He stood at parade rest, deep brown eyes gazing at Hux with what appeared to be an uncomfortably warm regard, and looked every inch a General.

“Dameron,” Hux croaked and then coughed at the dryness of his throat. In a moment, a straw met his lips, attached to a glass of cool water held by Dameron.

“Drink slowly, Hugs,” he said. “Your doctor has been notified that you’re awake and will be here in a moment.”

“Where is here?” Hux asked around little sips of refreshing liquid.

“The medical transport Not Alone, part of the fleet that cleaned up after the battle of Exegol. We’re headed back to the home of the New Federation, Coruscant. A lot of history there, good and bad, but the new Council of Planets wanted something with gravitas.” Dameron smiled at him. “And we couldn’t have done any of it without, Hugs. Your intel was key to destroying the Final Order and Palpatine with them. We owe you a lot.”

Before Hux could respond to that bizarre sentence (or any of the craziness that preceded it), the doors swished open quietly and a Bothan wearing a medical uniform entered.

“Good day, General Dameron,” she said with deep respect, bowing to the man. She turned to Hux before Dameron could respond and said, “I am pleased to find you’re awake at last, Mr. Hux. You were removed from the bacta tank almost two days ago, but your body continued to need its rest. I will check over your injuries now.” She activated a medical droid, which stepped out of a crevice in the wall and clanked over to Hux’s bedside. 

Hux drew away from the non-human doctor, eyes wide with distrust. 

“Hey, easy,” Dameron said and stepped toward the bed, reaching out to toward Hux, perhaps trying to soothe him. “Dr. Dza’tey is one of the most respected doctors in the galaxy. She’s been leading your treatment since we located you in the ruins of the Steadfast.” He placed a soft hand on Hux’s shoulder.

“She- she’s not-“

“Dr. Dza’tey is a Bothan,” Dameron said. “She’s taken good care of you.”

Hux subsided on the bed and nodded once, though his eye remained wide as he looked at the doctor. 

“May I stay by the side of the bed?” Dameron asked.

“Of course, General Dameron,” Dr. Dza’tey said. “You will not be in the way at all.” She began her examination, speaking in low tones to the droid and Hux. She administered various medications, before instructing the droid to rebandage the former General.

“Do you want me to leave while the doctor speaks to you?” Dameron asked Hux, surprising him with the offer. “It isn’t any of my business, if you don’t want it to be.”

Hux said slowly, “Everything is your business, General Dameron.” 

“Not this. Not unless you give permission,” Dameron said.

Hux glanced between the Bothan doctor and Dameron a couple of times and blinked, brain not processing at top speed. Finally, he said, “You can stay.” His eyes strayed to Dr. Dza’tey. “I’d prefer that you stay.”

“Then I’ll stay,” Dameron promised and nodded to the Bothan with a slightly rueful smile.

She simply nodded in response and said to Hux, “Your body has been through a great deal of trauma on top of a long life of trauma, Mr. Hux. Even with all of the best medical technology and treatments, you will have a long road to true recovery, and you may never regain full use of your left leg, unless you wish to use a prosthesis.”

Hux just stared at her, eyes somewhat glassy, though he mostly registered the words. 

“The damage to your ribcage has been mostly repaired through surgery and your time in the bacta tank, but we will need to work back up the strength and be careful with your movements until then. Even breathing may be painful for some time, due to the strain on your torso. We will administer painkillers, but there are signs of overuse of various drugs in your system, and we need to be careful not to cause more damage or further addict you.” 

Hux grimaced and looked deliberately away from both of them, ashamed about that particular weakness.

“Your minor wounds have healed, but you may still feel some of the aftereffects of being in a starship crash. At the velocity of the crash and given the amount of damage to your body and the time it took for you to be located, treatment of your injuries was rather behind the desired timeline.”

She cleared her throat and continued in the same professional tone, “All that said, your overall prognosis is still extremely good. You have been assigned a professional to help you with physical therapy, who will introduce himself tomorrow. Your regimen will likely start slowly, as I’ve prescribed bedrest with some minimal exercise to start. Getting up and around the room once or twice will feel as if you’ve run a great distance for some time to come. But you will improve, especially if you follow all of your medical advice.” She nodded once, as if to confirm that statement for Hux him. “Now, do you have any questions for me?”

Hux swallowed a few times, before asking in a quiet, subdued tone, “How long will I be on bedrest?”

“At least another week,” she said, “and probably two. We will do tests as we go along and determine how swiftly you are recovering and can get up and around more.”

He nodded, but there was already weariness in the small movement. “Thank you.”

“Of course. I will return later. And meanwhile, feel free to ring for your nurse should you need anything.” Dr. Dza’tey bowed to Poe and said, “It is a privilege, General Dameron.”

“Poe,” he said with what Hux interpreted as the air of a man who’d repeated that request uselessly many times before. 

She merely nodded in a way that indicated she would not be calling him something that personal now or ever. 

Dameron sighed as she left and turned back to Hux, running a hand through his curls. He smiled a little at Hux, who regarded him through the slits of eyes just visible through sleep-laden lids. “I should let you sleep,” he said, “but I’ll be back. I promise.” 

Before Dameron managed to get out the door, Hux had fallen back into dreams.  
~~~~~~~~  
To Hux’s surprise, General Dameron did continue to visit him. For the first week, despite his wishes to the contrary, Hux spent most of his time sleeping, with pauses for some remarkably painful sessions with his physical therapist where he felt like he barely moved and accomplished nothing, but his entire body hurt for hours afterward. His doctor and therapist continued to assure him that he was recovering well, but sometimes, he wondered if they were lying to him for their own unknowable reasons.

Half the time when he woke up, General Dameron would be there, sitting in a chair, typing away on a pad device (they seemed to change with each visit). Often, Hux didn’t wake up for long enough that Dameron noticed or fell asleep again before the man had time to do more than say, ‘Hello.” 

Finally, about four days in, he managed to stay awake long enough to say, “You’re here all the time. Don’t you have things to do?”

Dameron laughed and set aside whatever he was working on, scooting his chair closer to Hux’s bedside. “It’s good to hear your voice,” he said. “Want something to drink?”

As much as Hux hated to admit, his throat ached with dryness, so he nodded once and slowly moved into a sitting position as Dameron poured him a glass of water from a fresh pitcher and set a straw inside the liquid. One strong arm wrapped around Hux’s back when he trembled a little in effort to just get himself upright and eased him into place. Even as he offered the drink to Hux, Dameron moved pillows into a more comfortable arrangement to allow Hux to sit. 

Hux sighed as he eased back, but made no comment, drinking his water with eyes half-closed. 

“I like being here,” Dameron said. “It’s calm and usually quiet. I can think while I’m here, and I manage to be productive. Everywhere else I go, it’s like a swarm of bees around me all the time. And all buzzing for some sort of attention. When they’re like that, it can be hard to sort out who is the one in most urgent need of attention. But when I can read everything in an unbiased fashion, I can usually figure out how to organize and target projects to really move forward.” He let out a long sigh. “What I can’t see is doing this longterm. I don’t know how you did it.”

Hux made a noncommittal noise, since obviously, those days of his were gone, and there was no sense thinking on them again.

“Besides, it’s good to see you improve,” Dameron continued. “You’re definitely looking better. Color improved. Eating more. Even sleeping a bit less. Your doctor says you’re right on schedule.”

“For what?” Hux asked in a sleep roughened tone. He grimaced and coughed once, trying to improve the sound. “My ultimate execution for crimes committed against the New Republic?”

“What? No! We’re not going to execute you, Hux. That’s already been decided. There’s been too much death. The galaxy’s already reeling from all of it. So much loss in such a short amount of time. We’re not adding you to the list, Hux. You turned spy, helped us defeat the Order. Whatever your motives were for your actions, that’s what you did. Among the many lives you saved was my own, and I’m not going to forget that. I haven’t forgotten it. Nor have I forgotten that all we got out of the last conflict between Rebellion and Empire was a First Order, a Resistance and another war with the same ending. We have to make sure there’s not a same third act. No more people who feel the galaxy needs an iron fist to run.” 

He sighed and subsided back in his chair a little. “I feel a little passionate about this. Rey, Finn and I, we’ve all got these roles to fill now, things we need to rebuild from the ground up. Rey’s got the Force and the Jedi and all of that. Finn has all the former stormtroopers and how to acclimate them into society. And I have the entire remaining military structure. Can you kriffing believe they gave that to me, Hugs?”

“No,” Hux croaked, making Dameron laugh again and pour him more water.

“Yeah, me either,” he said after a minute, “but here I am.” He tapped the pad against his left leg a few times, seeming to ponder his own words.

“So, what’s to become of me then?” Hux finally asked, breaking the silence.

“You just worry about getting as well as you can first,” Dameron said, looking back at him. “There’s plenty of time to think about what comes after that. And a galaxy of possibilities.” 

Hux shivered and looked away from Dameron, eyes closing again. He hated how sleepy he was all the time. He wanted to be better than this already!

“I guess that might seem a bit much for someone who’s only ever known one thing in his life, huh? Stormtroopers aren’t the only ones who need to acclimate.”

Hux made a watery sound, but still didn’t speak. Those words made him want to sleep and avoid the shock of emotion he refused to name. 

“Yeah,” Dameron agreed, “it is hard. But that’s what makes it worth it, too.”

And curse the other man, he managed to beat Hux’s tiredness and make him sink back into dreams with his heart clenched in his throat.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes, when his day had been really draining, the quiet of Hux’s room lulled Poe into napping, even in his uncomfortable chair with a pad’s still flickering screen on his lap. He’d fallen into one of those peaceful dozes (though his neck usually paid for it later), when a scream from Hux not only jerked him awake, but made him pull a blaster he hadn’t needed in weeks now. His sudden movement made his pad fly across the floor, after striking it at an odd angle. 

When a quick look around the room ascertained that there was no enemy or intruder or any kind, Poe quickly set the blaster aside and moved to reach a gentle hand out to the other man. “Hux,” he said urgently, trying to ascertain the situation. “Hux, what’s wrong?”

Another scream made him flinch and inadvertently snarl a little in instinctive response. But the noise hadn’t been made because of him… Hux was still fast asleep. 

“Kriff,” he murmured and dared to place a careful hand on Hux’s right shoulder, giving him a nudge. “Hux, wake up. You’re dreaming. Please, wake up.”

The ginger groaned and then whimpered. “Don’t,” he said distinctly. 

“I won’t,” Poe assured. “Nobody here will. I just need you to wake up, Hux.” He tried another, firmer shake and a tap to his shoulder. “Please, wake up.”

Hux made a more aborted shrieking noise and jerked toward Poe, both eyes opening. They stared at him in complete lack of comprehension for a brief span that felt like an eternity to Poe, before blinking and seeming to focus. “Dameron?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” Poe said, relieved and not worried about showing it. “You were having a nightmare, Hux.”

“Hnh, yes, I get those…” Hux murmured, open in these moments just after waking. 

Poe noted his hospital garb appeared soaked with sweat, along with part of his bedcovers. He wanted to say he was sorry, but it seemed inadequate for the moment. “Do you feel better now?” he asked instead, though that seemed rather asinine, too.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine,” Hux said, in a completely unconvincing manner.

“Here, let me call the nurse. He can-“

“NO!” Hux yelled, making them both jump a little. “No. I don’t need help.”

Poe stared at him in confusion. “Hux, you’re soaking wet. You should get out of those clothes, maybe even take a quick shower. And your bedsheets need a change.”

“I will not humiliate myself further in front of anyone tonight,” Hux hissed at him, reminding Poe of a cornered Loth-cat.

“Humiliate yourself?” Poe asked. “Hux, you can’t believe you’re the only one who’s ever suffered from nightmares before…especially on a medical transport.” He sighed as only silence answered him. “Hux…will you let me help you then? I’ve already seen the nightmare.” 

The look in the ginger’s eyes held distrust and disquiet.

Poe made a sad noise and dropped his gaze to the floor. “General Organa- Leia- she woke me out of a few nightmares…after. Said she could feel the injuries in my mind, where Ren – where he’d been less than gentle with his use of the Force. She used her own abilities to help heal them, as much as she could.” He lifted his eyes to meet that gaze again. “I don’t know how you managed years around him.”

“And Snoke,” Hux said quietly. “They both were rather cavalier about taking a peek in peoples’ minds to find out things. I learned young how to keep most of my thoughts private, not to broadcast things, but there was no stopping them from prying when they wanted. Throw up a front to make them think they’d gotten what they wanted or deter them from their original course…that would keep you safe, but it wouldn’t keep away the pain. The headaches. The nightmares.” Hux barked a laugh that ended sounding like a sob that refused to break out all the way. “They’re both dead, but I still have the nightmares they left me…”

Poe reached out, unable not to. “Please, let me at least help you change your clothes and your bedsheets. You can’t be comfortable like that, Hux.”

Hux shied from him initially, but then slumped into the pillows. “No, I’m not,” he admitted in a defeated tone. 

“I won’t tell anyone,” Poe assured him and carefully began to untuck the blankets and sheets from around him. “I promise.”

“I know you won’t,” Hux said. “You were always stupidly honorable, even when you were making fun of me in front of my entire crew. I’ve had a few nightmares about you, too, General Dameron.”

Poe felt crappy at that remark, but kept doggedly removing the covers and then offered Hux a hand to help him sit up. “Do you want to go to the fresher and try to clean up a bit?”

“I still can’t do that all on my own, Dameron,” Hux said.

“You won’t have to,” Poe promised. “I’ll do whatever you need, Hux. Without comment. I promise.”

“You already did that,” Hux said in a snippy tone. “Promised.”

“I’ll promise as many times as it takes to get you to really believe me,” Poe said unrepentantly. 

Hux just blinked a few times at him, but reluctantly accepted the arms offered by the other man to help him to his feet. He leaned against Poe, an obvious sign that he was unwell still, since he’d never do so willingly. They moved slowly and carefully together to the refresher, which contained a shower with a comfortable bench carved into one wall that Hux could sit on.

“Do you, uh, need a hand with anything?” Poe asked as he eased Hux onto the bench. 

“No,” Hux said sullenly, refusing to look at him.

“Okay. Okay. I’ll keep the door a little open, so you can call if you do need something,” Poe said. 

The other man didn’t answer, so Poe went back into the main room and carefully eased the door partially shut. He took a deep breath and then sought out a replacement hospital garment and some new bedsheets for Hux. Fortunately, there were spares of both in a small closet tucked in one corner. 

He looked over the flimsy, uncomfortable looking medical gown with a slight frown, before carefully placing it just outside the door to the fresher, calling in, “I’ve put your new clothes near the door. Let me know if you need me to hand it in.” He tried not to be disheartened by the silence that answered him. 

A military man by training, Poe neatly and efficiently remade the bed with the fresh sheets and blanket, smiling a little ruefully at himself when he realized how long it had been since he’d bothered to be so precise for his own bedding. (Of course, he rated a droid assistant now who did a lot of that for him, which still boggled his mind.) 

When Hux still hadn’t emerged after Poe finished the bed, he waited a few anxious minutes before returning to the door. “Are you all right in there?” he asked.

Silence.

“Hux? Are you all right?” he repeated.

“No,” a small voice finally answered him. “I- I need help.”

Galvanized by any situation where Hux might admit to needing help, Poe said, “Okay, I’m going to come in,” and carefully opened the door and stepped inside.

He found Hux seated on the shower bench, leaning against the tiled wall, dripping wet. A towel, which he’d obviously been using to dry himself off with, lay draped over his knees. His eyes were shut and a series of shivers worked through his tall, thin frame. Both of his arms were crossed over his chest, but the effort Hux made to keep them there looked enormous to Poe’s eyes.

“May I help you dry off?” Poe asked, moving forward slowly and trying not to spook the other man.

Hux huffed a bitter noise that might have resembled a laugh. “Well, I’m not going to be able to finish the job,” he said.

Poe knelt carefully by the side of the shower after opening the sliding door, not caring about the dampness on his knees. “Everyone needs help like this sometimes,” he said and reached for the towel. 

Hux said nothing, but his expression radiated pure disdain for the sentiment. Still, he didn’t flinch when Poe carefully began to dry off his legs, his touch light and careful over the healing area of his left thigh. 

Not giving Hux a close inspection while making sure his efforts to dry him succeeded proved to be an impossible task. Poe noted the sheer length of each of his legs, the protrusion of ribs against a too-thin torso, the nasty net of scars that intersected with a galaxy of freckles on his arms, chest and back, the sheer red of the hair on his head which matched the thin patches in his more intimate locations and the almost shy length that nestled between his legs. Up this close, this personal, Poe saw both the sheer fragility and the strength of the man so much of the galaxy still referred to as the Starkiller. 

Poe bit his lower lip hard to avoid making any comments while he finished drying Hux and then offered him an arm up to stand and get out of the shower. He left him to lean on a wall for a moment, so he could fetch the hospital garments, which he carefully helped the other man into, both of them still quiet. “There,” he said softly as he carefully helped button the top. “Ready to go back to bed?”

“Yes,” Hux said, obviously exhausted. His limbs all trembled a little, though Poe could see his efforts to stop them. 

He wanted to offer to carry the other man, like he should have done long ago, back on the Steadfast, instead of leaving him to the tender mercies of the Order who’d already betrayed him. But he was not close enough to Hux to do that and feared the other man would merely be offended by the offer, no matter how sincere.

So, Poe helped Hux hobble slowly toward the bed, until suddenly, his left leg buckled, and Poe ended up with his arms full of him anyway. Acting now by instinct, he carried the lighter man to his bed and placed him on the mattress. He moved around Hux and pulled up and tucked in the covers, making sure his entire form was full covered and warm, before he stopped by the head of the bed and found Hux staring at him with an inscrutable expression. 

“Uh…is that good? Are you comfortable? Do you need anything else?” Poe stammered, not really sure how he’d just gone into full protective mode with Hux. 

The other man blinked slowly at him and said, “I’m fine, Dameron. I’d like it if you left now.”

“Oh…sure.” Poe swallowed down a gulp. “I can- I mean- I’d like to come back. May I?”

Hux’s face scrunched up for a split second at the ask. “You can do as you like, General.”

“That’s not true. I told you once before that your consent matters in this, Hux. If- if you really don’t want me to come back…I won’t,” he said. 

Hux just stared at him for a long moment more before saying, “Later. Some other time. Yes. Fine,” before turning on his side away from Poe in obvious dismissal.

Poe hoped Hux didn’t hear his sigh of relief even as he beat a hasty exit.

~~~~~~~~

The next time Poe came to see Hux, he brought a box with him, which he carefully set on Hux’s bed. “This is for you,” he said. “I checked with your doctor, and there’s no reason you can’t have it.”

Hux stared at the box for a moment, like it might eat him, before curiosity appeared to get the better of him and he opened it with alacrity. He paused at the sight of the items inside, before reaching out to touch as if it might be some sort of illusion.

“The stuff the hospital gives you to wear doesn’t look comfortable at all,” Poe said, “so I thought you might like something nicer. There’s four pairs in there…” He trailed off at the sight of a slight wobble to Hux’s lower lip, before rushing on in some sort of desperately stupid attempt to stem whatever kind of response the other man had that Poe might not be able to handle. “They’re made out of Sleedaran silk, so they should be very comfortable and oh, kriff, please don’t cry!”

“I’m not crying,” Hux said angrily, but he really, really was, fat tears that leaked out of his eyes, no matter how hard he tried to stop them or scrubbed at his face.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry. I only thought you might appreciate something nicer to sleep in. Maybe it would help you get more rest and recover faster,” Poe babbled. “I’ve been in medbay a few times myself, and I always slept better when I had my own stuff. So I just-“ 

“You shouldn’t care!” Hux yelled at him suddenly. “Nobody cares! Nobody has ever cared!” He knocked the box off the bed with a wild swing of one arm and buried his face in both hands, every part of him shaking. 

“Oh kriff,” Poe repeated and practically climbed on the bed as he reached out for the other man, everything inside him drawn to the obvious suffering and wanting to ease it. “I care. I do care. I promise.” He gathered the slender form into his arms and pulled him close, just as he would with any friend who was upset and needed comfort. Poe had never shied away from physical closeness with others, including of the emotional variety. “Please don’t cry,” he repeated (as he was not very good at the verbal comfort part). 

The medical droid activated from the side wall and thumped to the side of the bed. “Patient’s vital signs are elevated. Is intervention required?”

“What?” Poe asked, looking up from where he had a hold on Hux, who seemed too overwhelmed to really notice. “No. No medical intervention needed. We’re just dealing with some emotions here. You may power down.” He returned his focus to Hux, even as the droid continued to hover by the bed.

The other man hadn’t changed his position, hands still over his face, body rigid in Poe’s hold. He had at least ceased to tremble quite as intensely, only rocking now and then with an accompanying sob from deep in his chest. Wet still leaked from beneath his palms.

Poe tugged on him again, and this time, Hux didn’t fight the urging and allowed himself to be tucked close. Poe adjusted his hold to fit the taller man against him and give them both the comfort of a good hug. At least, he hoped Hux found comfort in it. The other man still didn’t speak, but his shaking finally came to a halt. 

And slowly, slowly, the tension in his body eased until Hux slumped into Poe’s body and allowed him to fully support his weight. (Which triggered the return of the medical droid to its nook.)

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” Poe said finally into the ongoing silence. 

“I know,” Hux said, voice warped by his tears. “You were being kind.” He spoke the last word with a note of wonder.

“Well, yes,” Poe said. “I just wanted you to have something comfortable to wear while you’re recovering.”

“Thank you,” Hux said and moved his head in the direction of where the box had hit the floor. “I- do you think I can change into a pair now?”

Poe smiled and tightened his arms a little more about Hux for a split second. “Of course. Let me fetch a pair.” He carefully eased Hux back to the bed and into the pillows, before sliding easily to his feet and fetching the box. The pajamas happily remained inside the box, so he could offer all four as clean. “Here we go. There are four different colors, though they’re not too bright.” 

“Thank you,” Hux said again, carefully removed each pair and examined them. He stroked over the material a few times, something soft in his expression. “I’d like these right now.” He held up a pair of forest green pajamas.

“Of course,” Poe said. “Uh, do you need a hand?”

Hux shook his head and said, “I can manage.” He began to slowly peel out of his hospital garment. 

Poe dropped his eyes and then turned away slightly, not wanting to look without permission, even though he’d helped Hux shower and dress before. “Are they to your liking?”

“Yes,” Hux said. There was a rustling of fabric, as he carefully pulled on the pants and shirt. “Oh, they’re soft,” he muttered, seemingly to himself. 

Poe snuck a peek and smiled a little to find Hux settled comfortably in the new pajamas. “I’ll just put the others away for later,” he said and carried them over to the small bureau for the patient’s personal effects. Carefully retrieving the pajamas from the box, he opened the top drawer and stared into the blank emptiness for a bleak moment, before setting the pajamas carefully inside. He shut the drawer equally softly, mind still awhirl.

The bureau was empty because Hux literally had nothing. 

Poe swallowed a lump from the back of his throat and turned around to look at Hux again, finding a smile when he discovered the other man tucking himself fastidiously back under the covers. “They look good on you, Hux. Like they fit well.”

“They do,” Hux said and settled back into the pillows, eyes blinking slowly. 

“You should get some more rest,” Poe said.

“It’s all I do,” Hux mumbled, words starting to slur together, even as his eyelids closed for even longer times around blinks.

Poe chuckled and said, “I imagine you have a lot of missed sleep to catch up on, along with recovering from massive injury and trauma. So, sleep all you want.” He moved to settle back down in the chair next to the bed and picked up his omnipresent pad. “And I’ll be right here for when you do wake up.” He thought he saw Hux give a brief nod, even as the other man went right back to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~

By the time Hux could hobble around the room without assistance, his small bureau was full of clothes, a personal pad, packets of Tarine tea, and a couple of stuffed tookas (in lieu of being able to have the real thing while in hospital). Each time Poe brought him something new, Hux found his composure easier to keep, but his feelings for the other man harder to deny. His unrelenting kindness and presence wore down Hux’s already battered shields to nothing at all. (Hux hadn’t realized until he literally had nothing to do just how achingly lonely his life was.)

Today was no different, as Hux stared down at the new gift from the General- an elegantly carved wooden cane. There were two intertwined strands of study dark wood that curled up into a smooth handle, which fit almost perfectly into Hux’s palm. 

“It’s made from the wood of the twisted tree native to Zaloriis," Poe (Hux had finally given up on calling him Dameron, even in his head) said with a bright smile. “Should be extremely durable and good for any kind of climate.”

“Am I going somewhere?” Hux asked.

“Going somewhere?” Poe echoed.

“That I need a cane capable of handling any kind of climate,” Hux said, examining it more closely.

“Oh.” Poe rubbed at the back of his neck and bit his lower lip a moment. “Well, I was wondering if you might be willing to take a job with the New Republic. More to the point…with me.”

Hux stared at him with disbelief, now twisting the cane in his hands, though he barely registered the movement.

“I know it may be a lot to ask of you, given, well, everything, but I could use your organizational know-how and understanding of the First Order personnel who are surrendering or still need to be rounded up. I want to make sure we do this all right, Hux, and I can’t do that without an assistant who’s willing to tell me when I’m kiffing it up and what to do to make sure I don’t keep kriffing it up. I can’t think of anyone better for that role than you,” Poe said.

“You want me to work with you? With the New Republic? Are you karking?” Hux asked.

“Maybe,” Poe said, “but I don’t think so. Look, I’m only asking. There’s nothing keeping you from saying no. I’ll support you in whatever decision you want to make about your future, except for rebuilding the Order. If you prefer to find some quiet spot in the middle of nowhere to be an engineer and make a fortune that way, you can. If you want to go back to Arkanis and help rebuild there and claim your family’s entitlement, you can. If you want to help some other program in the New Republic, you can. The choice of your future is up to you, Hux, but I’m asking you if you’ll take a job with me.”

“You’re rebuilding Arkanis?” Hux asked.

Poe produced a choked sound, which Hux had difficulty interpreting. “We’re rebuilding a lot of places, Hux. There’s tons of work to do, including stuff left undone the first war round. We’re setting up places for the survivors of the Hosnian system and Kijimi to go, planets for them to settle on and try to save as much of their cultures as possible. And then there’s Mandalore…”

“Mandalore…” Hux said. “You’re biting off more than you can chew.”

Poe hummed and said, “You might be right, but the mess that is the galaxy needs to be righted. There’s so many people without proper homes, and so many more who’ve lost everything except their lives. But we’re really trying to learn from our mistakes, trying not to let politics and petty squabbles and bureaucracy derail everything before we even get started. Our resources aren’t unlimited, but pooled together, they’re pretty impressive. And during the weeks you’ve been recuperating, we’ve been setting up the enterprise.” He shrugged and said, “The Order had tremendous organizational skills, and we’re not too proud to learn from them. Still, there’s a galaxy of a mess to clean-up, and not utilizing all our assets would be foolish.” He looked at Hux with those earnest brown eyes.

Hux felt his cheeks pink at the gaze and ducked his head, finding himself looking at the cane again. “You’ve put a lot of thought into this.”

“Well…yeah. I need to learn from my mistakes, too. And I made a lot of them. But Leia- General Organa, she entrusted the Resistance to me. And the New Republic has entrusted me with their military. I want to be worthy of that kind of trust. I want to do right by the galaxy and all of the people in it. And I’m asking you to help me.” 

Hux found he couldn’t look into the other man’s face, knowing the hopeful expression that would be directed at him. “I suppose, as long as you’ve given me this, it would be wrong not to see if it really can hold up to all kinds of climates,” he said at last. 

“Is that a yes?” Poe asked, disbelief clear in his voice. But then it changed. “That’s a yes,” he said confidently. “Yes!” 

And suddenly Hux found all of the air exhaled from his lungs as Poe picked him up and spun him in a circle. “Hooray!” The General yelled in his ear, while Hux clung to him in bemused startlement. 

When he was set down, admittedly with care, by Poe, Hux took a moment to steady himself using his new cane. He found the wood to be incredibly strong and considered giving the other man a scolding smack on the ass with it. “That was a very unprofessional way to greet your new aide,” he said coolly.

“Can’t help it,” Poe said. “I’m too excited. Besides, you’re not on the clock yet. There’s a million things to do still to get you aboard, though I have the only official go-aheads I need. Mainly mine…and yours” He beamed with a happiness that Hux had seldom seen on anyone and certainly not related to anything having to do with him personally. He could barely stand to look at the brightness of the expression.

“Well, I hope you continue to be so happy about the idea after I’ve worked with you for a while,” he said, trying to keep his voice level.

“You doubt it?”

Hux made a little ‘hmph’ noise and confessed, “I am still trying to get used to seeing so many non-humans on a crew. I can’t be certain how well I will adjust to that difference.” He was addressing his hands again, feeling a bit ashamed now of his reaction to those he’d been brought up to see as ‘lesser.’ 

“There’s plenty of time to learn,” Poe said. “I’ve got a lot to learn from you, too. About why the First Order was so successful and how to avoid neglecting so much of the galaxy this time around. Nobody’s without their fair share of mistakes, nor with things to learn. And if you and I can make it work, then we can prove that this whole endeavor can work. That the New Republic can be a success after all.” He practically radiated sincerity and hope, still too bright for Hux to look at directly.

“You are a disgusting optimist,” he grumbled, but it was hard to direct any real heat at the only person who’d ever treated him kindly. 

“Well, yeah, I’ve had to be,” Poe said. “I couldn’t have kept on with the Resistance, if I didn’t. Especially given some of the things that happened.” 

Hux nodded slowly and said, “It was always one of the things that infuriated me most. You never gave up, even when it seemed obvious that you should.” He raised his green eyes to Poe and added, “I guess I admired it, too, really.”

“Did you admire me?” Poe asked.

Hux scoffed and said, “You were an utter wretch of a person who showed almost no discipline and definitely no respect for anything.”

“Yes,” Poe agreed, “but you did admire me?”

“You made fun of me over an open comm in front of my entire crew,” Hux persisted. “You called me pasty!”

“Well, yes that was unfair,” Poe allowed. “You’re a rather nice pale shade…it matches your hair.”

Hux felt a rush of blood to his face to mar his pale skin. “And referred to me as kinda skinny,” he reminded him. 

Poe gestured to him and said, “Well, uh, yes?”

Hux glanced up and down himself and let out a little snort. “You still did it in front of my crew.”

“Needs must at the time,” Poe said with a smile, which Hux found his mouth twitching to echo. 

“Like I said, you were infuriating,” Hux said.

“And?” Poe prompted, sounding hopeful.

“And yes, I rather wished you were part of the First Order. Your talents were beyond any pilot I had ever seen,” Hux said with a sigh. “And your willingness to throw yourself into impossible situations for what you believed, that was a righteousness I approved of in our members.”

“You admired me!” Poe crowed and then yelped as Hux bopped him in the right shin with his stick. He laughed afterward, though he rubbed a bit at the area of the strike.

Hux rolled his eyes and sighed once at the sight. “How are you the lead General of the New Republic?” he asked.

“No idea,” Poe said, “but now that you’re aboard, I feel even more confident that I can be a good one.” 

“I’m enabling you,” Hux said with flat horror. 

“Nah,” Poe said. “You’re helping me. And yourself. And the galaxy. Like you were when you turned spy. Whatever your reasons.” 

Hux sighed again, but there was agreement in the noise, acceptance of the words. “So, what now?” he asked. 

“Now?” Poe asked. “Now, we take your cane for a spin around your room, and if we’re really feeling adventurous, into the hall, too.”

“And after?” Hux asked, already starting to hobble toward the door, just wanting to get out of the room he’d been stuck in for weeks. 

“Depends on how far after,” Poe said cheerfully as he followed along. “Later tonight, you’ll get into one of your nice pairs of pajamas and get more sleep. Later in the week, we’ll walk you all the way to the forward lounge, so you can drink some tea and look at the stars. Later in the month, I’ll introduce you around to some of your main co-workers, in your brand new uniform. And sometime between that, I’ll add a kiss to all of the hugs I’ve been giving you lately.”

Hux nearly missed a step and hissed his annoyance at the other man. “Do not distract me from the task of walking, General Dameron,” he scolded. 

“Right. I’ll remember to kiss you when you’re already sitting down,” Poe said.

Hux stumbled into a wall. “I will get you for that,” he promised, as two strong arms caught him before he hit the floor and lifted him back up to his feet.

“Or I could just do it right now,” Poe murmured, seemingly unaffected by the growling, as he held Hux close.

The new cane clattered the to floor as Hux found himself kissing the most powerful military man in the galaxy right there in the hallway where anyone could see them. But when Poe pulled back a moment to let them breathe, he grabbed hold of his hair, snarled, “Don’t you dare stop now,” and dragged their mouths back together, instead of complaining like he swore he meant to.

Seems like these damned New Republic ways were rubbing off on him even faster than anticipated.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this didn't quite go as planned, TBH. I did work to address as many of the desired elements as were requested, but I spun myself up too high to get to finish quite the way this fic deserved. Still, I hope my requester doesn't mind too much. <3
> 
> Thank you to UtopiaPlanitia for the badly needed beta!!


End file.
